Moose in tree

Artist's rendition of a drunken moose stuck in a tree.

When autumn arrives in Sweden, local moose consume any apples that fall to the ground. If these apples rot on the ground, the fermentation can affect the moose, lowering inhibitions, and degrading motor skills. This yearly occurrence leads to many unsavory side effects.

On September 9th, 2011, it was reported that a drunk moose was found in a tree in Sweden. In September 2013, a man in Ingaro, Sweden was blocked from his home by five intoxicated moose.

Also, in September 2013, a buzzed moose got into an altercation with a swingset in Stockholm.

The Bacliff Exploration Society is conducting research into the biochemical and psychological effects of fermentation.

Although no moose's head has been harvested for a use in an exploration society club house, this seasonal event has been known to lead to a series of commemorative haikus.

Drunk Moose Haiku (2011)

A moose got wasted
And made noise stuck in a tree
Damn crazy neighbors

It’s hard to call you
Illiterate when you write
Such a good haiku.

A moose eats apples
Gets drunk and stuck in a tree
Sleep it off big guy

A moose eats apples
Decides to look at the stars
Name’s Shaun. Arrested.

Moose up in a tree
Will it ever touch ground?
Only passed out

Network buys photo
Moose acting like a wino
Boy gets Playstation

Apples are tasty
Can’t see straight. So dizzy help!
What happened last night?

Can a tree eat moose?
The Swede calls firefighters
Tree is still hungry

Best news story ever
So many questions to ask
How many apples?

Drunk Moose Haiku (2013)

Drunken Moose Two: Electric Boogaloo.

Drunk Moose Two:
The Electric Doogaloo
I’d watch that movie

(Oh Johnny you need
More syllables in first line
Also, “Boogaloo”.)

Belligerent moose
To what do we owe the thanks?
Fermented Apples

I want to go Home
Barred by a drunken moose gang
I flee in terror

That cold glassy stare
The aggression swirls beneath
Go home, moose. You’re drunk.

Here it comes again
All hopped up on Apple Sauce
Please don't stand your ground

Fermented Apples
Inebriated mammals
Swedish September

Beware the apples
From within they will ferment
The moose they dement

Apples sit too long
Bullwinkle devours them all
Oh no, not again.

Plan finally worked
For Boris and Natasha
Only squirrel left

More moose harassment
Bull can't locate his winkle
Apples are to blame

The moose fall on sword
So no bad apples remain
For Santa’s reindeer

Moose’s to do list:
Eat, eat again, burp, stagger
Sing karaoke

Quick! hide the apples
You’ve had enough, Swedish Moose
Just get out of here

So we meet again
Drunken moose used to scare me
Now I am drunk too

I left from the pub
Greeted a moose with a nod
A moment was shared.

Why can’t the Swedes Learn
Every fall moose cause turmoil
Fence around apples

Thundering moose hoofs
As apples fall and sour
The fence does nothing

(Sour is really a
monosyllabic tripthong
I screwed up my poem.)

Ancient proverb says
A man with field full of moose
Should not have sour grapes.

The saddle destroyed
The chariot stands broken
Where'd I park my moose?

A foul apple wind
Intoxicated or not
Beware Moosenado

In apple orchard
Hungry lions patrol
Moose meat is tasty

Can ham radio
Protect us from the drunk moose?
No, it is useless

Iono-delay
The moose is now history
From apples to Ham

Apples to apples
Drunken moose to drunken moose
One Ham will save us

Spokesman says that they
"can be really dangerous"
Hey, come at me, moose!

When the tree leaves change
The moose come out to carouse
Let’s just stay inside

A terrorized town
Who is behind this rampage?
An apple-sauced moose

Who would win in fight
Drunk Moose or Sharktypus
Dear god save us all

Mmmmmm apple cider
No one knows I am a moose
...I’m stuck in this tree

Track the drunken moose
Causing Swedes to tremble
Use backpack Trimble

Last moose of summer
Behold your lack of all grace
You smell like apples

My head hurts real bad
we have to end this crap now
God save my inbox.

Drunk moose SMASH inbox
No tree is safe for apples
When I am around

Last moose walks away
Snow imprisons 'til May
Should have followed

Bleakness of winter
Paralyzes my tired brain
Accept Correction

Last moose walks away
Snow imprisons until May
We should have followed

Sunrise on wiki
ESOB showered with haikus
Until blocked again

Morpheus no fly
Is it an engine problem?
No, Tom blames drunk moose

See also

• Pants

External links

• Drunken moose ends up stuck in Swedish apple tree (CNN)
• Drunken moose on a tear in Sweden (Click2Houston)