Seagull
The seagull, recently re-branded "Ocean Pheasant", is a general name of a group of birds with a complex life cycle that are generally found near seashores feeding on garbage. The song of the seagull sounds suspiciously like a child crying "mine!" repeatedly.
Seagull Life Cycle
Egg Stage
A Seagull start life as an egg laid by mature seagulls. The seagull lays its eggs in the stomachs of sharks where they develop for over a year. The eggs are kept warm by the innate blood-lust of the shark. When the egg hatches, the seagull larva, called a crab emerges.
Crab Stage
Once the crab hatches, it eats its way out of the shark then must find its way to the shore. Not many newly hatched crab's make it to the shore since they are the favorite food of the sea goat. Once a crab makes it to the shore, it enjoys a relatively easy existence for the next two to three years. During this time, the crab subsists solely on the abundant drowned carcases of Junior Ham Radio Rangers that wash up on shore. It also learns the valuable seagull life skills of: running around on the sand, locating the tastiest garbage, and digging in the sand. When the crab is ready to molt its shell, it hides in a large mound of seaweed for a week until it grows its adult feathers.
Adult Stage
The adult seagull is a shorebird that is usually grey and white. It eats the delicious garbage and refuse found on most beaches. The seagull's mate in the Spring and Summer. They attract mates by there skill at stealing food from humans and using it to build an elaborate nest.
