A major X-Class solar flare
is headed for Earth. All citizens are encouraged to shelter their kill-bots underneath the nearest plywood dinghy. All humans are, of course, doomed. DOOMED!
Revenge of the Luminiferous Aether
It was a good week for ridiculous dark matter stories on the internet:
- Dark Matter Near Earth Peaks Every March [Scientific American]
- Is a ring of dark matter making the Earth heavier than it should be? [IO9]
Dark matter is a mysterious substance that cosmologists hypothesize fills all of time of space (although it has never actually been observed). See also: Luminiferous Aether, Scrum
Sunspots May Disappear: Does This Mean the End of Ham Radio As We Know It?
According to a recent report, the sun is heading into an unusual and extended hibernation. Around 2020, sunspots may disappear for years, maybe decades. This could mean the end of Ham radio as we know it. Top Ham radio scientists are working furiously in their basements as we speak to devise a solution to this grave threat.
NASA Dooms Mankind: Sends Squid into Space
Squid embryos will rocket into space aboard Space Shuttle Endeavour’s last flight, and the penultimate flight of the shuttle program.
Australians Believe They Have Created Space Beer. Sure, Whatever.
Two Australian companies are claiming to have develop the very first beer that can be consumed safely in space. It is a well-known fact that most normal beers transmutate into deadly acid in zero-gravity. This important breakthrough is a giant leap for Australian kind.
Congratulations FASTRAC!
Congratulations to all the members of the FASTRAC team!
The FASTRAC (Formation Autonomy Spacecraft with Thrust, Relnav, Attitude and Crosslink) satellites are a pair of satellites built by students from the University of Texas at Austin that were launched on November 19 on a Minotaur 4 rocket from the Kodiak Launch Complex in Alaska.
Earth Like Planet May Not Actually Exist
Gliese 581, the recently-discovered habitable planet where the chance of life is 100% may not actually exist. The advanced civilization which lives on this totally Earth like planet could not be reached for comment.
Wild Hyperbole About Latest Wobble
Apparently, the latest extrasolar planet detected (Gliese 581) not only is totally “Earth like”, but the chances that it contains life are “100 percent”. Hooray for science!
NASA Chief to Senators: Mars is the Ultimate Destination
NASA chief Charles Bolden told senators Wednesday that sending astronauts to Mars is still the ultimate goal for U.S. human spaceflight, as he defended the agency’s new space plan against criticism in a heated budget hearing. Full Story